Mist Of The Moon

Current moon phase

Friday, February 08, 2002

 
I had an interesting insight yesterday. I've realized that I am unconnected to my feminity and thus need to basically explore the feminine energy. I had gotten into Xena again.. and was doing wallpapers and eading fanfic and all kinds of things.. hubby said that I had tapped into the feminine energy and that's when I made this realization.

So I am going to keep tapping into the feminine energy and basically submerge myself into the feminine energy. Stop feeling guilty for looking at something that might remotely be connected with lesbianism or anything...just because I'm looking at it or reading it doesn't make me a lesbian.. I just need to learn to tap into the female side of myself. I think it's all from where and how I was brought up. I was brought up in a Catholic atmosphere.. can you say GUILT TRIP city??... So.. anyway.. I am going to use my Goddess work to tap into that female energy and in the process, probably find myself. :-)
posted by Biz S 10:07 AM

Thursday, January 31, 2002

 
Interesting. The muse has hit me.. but not with writing. I've been doing computer art for the first time in ages.. Wallpapers for various TV show that I'm into. I plan to put them all on a webpage to share with the rest of the world, but don;t have that set up yet. I'm just thrilled to finally be doing something creative for the first time in over a year. I missed it.

Now I need to get back to writing because I have so many stories and such that need to be finished.. as well as an RPG character that desperately needs written. She's kinda major in some of the stories at the moment and everyone is having to write around me. :-( Phooey!
posted by Biz S 2:25 PM

Thursday, January 24, 2002

 
Jumps up and down clapping.. I wrote something!!!

What do ghosts think?

The ghost moved silently through the hall of the forgotten manor. She felt as lonely as the house looked. There had been no one living in her once proud home for years. No one to keep her company in the long hours of the days.

She remembered her last family. They'd been afraid of her at first, but their fear soon turned to curiosity as they tried to discover who she had been in her life. Their curiosity soon gave way to frustration and finally the want to have her gone. But she never left, even through the exorcisms and the banishments. She stayed. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

She loved her home dearly and didn't want to leave. She never minded the rituals and often enjoyed the families that came and went. So she continued walking down her corridor and sitting in her chair and sleeping in her bed.

Finally the last family left, so she walks on in her lonely house.. waiting hoping for someone to come make it a home again.
posted by Biz S 10:09 PM

 
While driving to work today, in the gloomy rainy morning, with Enya playing, made me just want to keep driving. It's an interesting feeling... kind of like I'm between planes if you will. Just watching everything go by. I find that moments like this are when I think of things, or have stories tumbling out of my mind like movies. I really want to try to bottle that moment and see if it can work in meditation.

To that end, I can't fugure out why I have so much trouble visualizing things for meditating. I have plots and stories running through my mind as if they are movies, I can vividly imagine lots of things, but when it comes to visualizing for a guided or otherwise meditation, I can't grasp a picture. Why is that? It's kinda frustrating.
posted by Biz S 1:52 PM

 
Am getting a lot of writing accolades from some friends I've recently become acquainted with. It's making me feel good.. but even worse about this writing block. Not sure if it's helping or adding more pressure. Though one did give me an idea.. to just sit and write something about anything. Might try that.
posted by Biz S 12:18 AM

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

 
Made a couple decisions today that will help greatly in my peace of mine and spiritual quest. I'm going to quit as moderator for a list that I run that is extremely frustrating. I think that's part of my problem right there.

I feel really good about this decision and about finding Sarasvati. It's as if a very large weight is off my shoulders. YAY! Now I can get on to more important things. :-)
posted by Biz S 10:14 PM

Sunday, January 20, 2002

 
Did some searching today for information on Sarasvati. Didn;t find much, but I did find some images. I'll upload a small one here when I get the chance.
posted by Biz S 9:59 PM

Saturday, January 19, 2002

 
Want to say thanks to Daisy for the Moon Phase Calendar code!
posted by Biz S 11:59 PM

 
Well, I have found a Goddess that speaks to me, Sarasvati... this makes 3 Goddesses that I am working with. Gaia, Kuan Yin, and now Sarasvati.

I am beginning this search at the beginning. Please bear with me as I explore these things. As I find my muse or get closer to finding my way.. I might be posting snippets of writing here.. as homage to the Goddesses for helping me on my way. Enjoy and feel free to send your comments and thoughts and any helpful tidbits you think I may be interested in along the way.
posted by Biz S 11:45 PM

 
Hoping this works.
posted by Biz S 11:35 PM

Sunday, January 06, 2002

 
I am testing this to see if the comment link shows up where it is supposed to.
posted by Biz S 10:37 PM